I’ve decided to make “eye bleach” posts a regular feature. Even (especially!) when my style is languishing on the primmer end of the spectrum, I need my macabre, my bloodstained, my gleefully obscene. It’d be mighty nice to keep a visual log of the unsettling specimens I find in the wild (i.e. antique stores). What better to kick it off with than those horrors of the vaguely humanoid?
All specimens logged at Antiques on Main in Montpelier, where Josh and I stopped after shooting with Brent on Saturday.
This reminds me in the best way of one of my favorite creepypastas: “Abandoned by Disney“, by Slimebeast. The sequel, “Room Zero“, is almost better.
I’m getting one intense Coraline vibe from this one.
I’ve decided it’s high time to marry my loves of the quaint and the creepy. My audience consists mostly of fellow fashion bloggers and worshipers of the vintage dress. I love them all, but I’d also like to reach out to the gothier cohort. Where my moon-howling pagan sisters at?
Today marks the formal inauguration of an idea I’ve had for some time. Why should Halloween occupy only a few weeks? I know y’all have seen some terrifying things in the wild. Why not celebrate them? Starting today, I will be hosting a new feature here on My Kingdom for a Hat: the Eye Bleach Sweepstakes. Send me your creepy, your queer, your slimy masses! The next time you see something balls-to-the-wall absurd, snap a photo and send it to me. The rules go as follows:
- The contest is open to anyone from anywhere. You can enter even if you’re a judge.
- I’ll announce a new subject every few weeks. You have two weeks from the initial announcement to gather as many photos of said subject as you can. Send them all to email@example.com, accompanied by your name and a brief summary of why they deserve to be crowned Creepiest.
- Subjects must be wild-caught. That is, they must be found, not made by you personally. I will, however, make exceptions for items you genuinely did not intend to be creepy – for instance, a homemade sweater accidentally gone horribly garish. There’s no way to prove that, though, so I’m holding y’all to the honor system.
- This is not a googling contest. If I discover that you’ve just googled “creepy dolls” and stolen the first result, you will be disqualified.
- Neither is it a photography contest. Don’t worry about photo quality. The horror depicted will shine through regardless.
- Creepiness is subjective. That’s where your summary comes in handy. Make my spine tingle.
- Prizes vary from contest to contest.
- Submissions will be analyzed by my crack team of judges. Once the final three are narrowed down, I’ll open the voting to the public.
- Remember to send submissions, as well as any questions/comments/hatemail, to firstname.lastname@example.org.
This round’s subject, as you may have gleaned, is creepy dolls. You all know what I’m talking about. Don’t tell me you’ve never looked into the eyes of some antique porcelain creature and realized you’d never feel clean again. Dolls are uniquely horrifying in that they’re so damn humanoid. The uncanny valley factor is high.
As per the rules, dolls cannot be altered in any way to deliberately enhance their creepiness. Free-range terrors only. I figure Thanksgiving is the perfect time for this particular subject: if you plan on visiting family, take a peek around the attic. Maybe your childhood Fancy Nancy is a whole lot more sinister than you remembered.
As I mentioned above, the prizes will vary. This month, however, you can win $25 to my Etsy shop, Dressed in the Dark Vintage! Just in time for the holidays, too. Plus, you know, the glory of being featured on my blog and its Facebook page.
Looking forward to some nail-biters!