unbearable pinkness of being

Here are some facts about my weekend:

• I saw Carbon Leaf at Higher Ground Ballroom for the fifth time. They played literally everything and it was amazing, and the lead guitarist signed my arm. However,
• Choosing Carbon Leaf meant I had to miss the fairy-tale cabaret, at which I later learned there had been a Maleficent number. Guys. There was a Maleficent striptease and I missed it. There was a homoerotic Maleficent striptease blatantly shipping her with Aurora and I missed it. Take away my #1-fan status. Just take it away. I’m no longer deserving.
• Josh and I drank an entire carton of eggnog wtf is wrong with us
• I wore this, the coziest dress known to femmekind.
• I made a meatloaf and then ate almost all of it myself.
• Why do all my high points involve obscene amounts of food?

fever dream

I’m sick. Like, fever-dreams-&-blurry-vision sick. I’m getting a strep test in an hour, but thank Loaf for these photos I took last week and put away for a day like this. I knew I would get sick after the last run of shows; I always do. Cast parties are basically germ orgies. (And also regular orgies.)

On the plus side, my current delirium is making American Horror Story: Freakshow REALLY interesting.

still tacky

Because I am not yet legally allowed to post my Nightmare costume work online, here are some pictures of me embodying Halloween nonetheless. (When I say “not legally allowed”, I mean “my director will yell at me”. Theater people know that is basically the last thing you want ever.) Also, here is one of the best creepypastas I’ve heard all season.

Dress rehearsal tonight, dress rehearsal tomorrow, and SHOW SHOW SHOW Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Not too late for tickets!

my tacky manifesto

I love ugly appliqued sweaters and other such monstrosities usually found on six- or sixty-year-olds, nothing in between. I love garish prints and clashing accessories. I love head-to-toe matching, I love it when my hair and my lipstick almost go together, and I love wearing ten shades of the same color. I love looking simultaneously like an eccentric matron and her prissy kindergarten granddaughter, and I especially love the private knowledge of my tattoos and slutty underwear beneath the Peter Pan collars. The assumption of reticence and sexual repression dogs twee femmes wherever we go, but I can hoot and holler with the best of ’em.

I love red lipstick and Disney villain eyebrows with every. single. outfit.

I love bright tights that make my thick legs thicker and shoes that broaden my broad feet. Where others see lumps and stumpiness, I see bursts of triumphant color. I love bombshell vintage kitted out with gaudy Halloween-store jewelry. I love ratty flats peeking from under my petticoats, and I love it when they don’t even pretend to match. I am learning to love that I am more cute than sexy, that my round face is cheerful and droll. That my hair makes it only rounder, that my church-lady hats do not tamp it down. I love never having enough church-lady hats.

I am everything I am not supposed to be. I am Fashion’s worst and loudest nightmare, because I refuse to flatter my body at the expense of my soul.

officially halloween’s bitch

This was seriously one of the best weekends I’ve had in a while. On Saturday I did makeup for a local zombie-themed fun run; on Sunday (Josh’s 26th birthday) I tabled for Nightmare at a pumpkin festival up in the mountains. Silly costumes, foliage, a huge-ass birthday cake that we’re still working on – oh, and getting to pop someone’s eye out, as seen above. This post is not for the squeamish, but if you’re squeamish, then why are you even here.

My beloved steamfreak – and Nightmare’s monster mascot, Janey, whom Josh helped build.

Cake cred to my mom, who I’ve mentioned before is a professional baker. Nutella outside, pumpkin/carrot inside.

Holly asked for “zombie rock star”.

Nightmare went to lunch in full makeup.

to haunt and to hold

It seems I can’t even wear my favorite sweater without being told to “go home” because apparently “it’s not even October yet”. Love you too, everyone. I just came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now. At least my sweater cares.

Even though it’s nigh October, haunt season started months ago. “Halloween is six weeks away, for Chrisssakes!” outsiders cry. Yeah, exactly – Halloween is six weeks away. I’d like to see you design, build, outfit, and rehearse an entire show in six weeks. My haunt, Nightmare Vermont, is the only one in the state that performs a complete coherent story rather than a series of skits. We write and produce a play from scratch, essentially.

…so yeah. You’d be freaking out too.

I’m so ready for fall, though. One last blaze of crunchy-leaved glory before seasonal depression settles in. Is anyone else champing at the bit for season 4 of American Horror Story?